


Spike's Presents

by Highlander_II



Series: Spike's Christmas Carols [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Christmas Carols, Crack Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-13
Updated: 2003-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike's found a Christmas song he can enjoy...</p><p><b>Disclaimer</b>: Characters belong to Joss Whedon and are property of Kuzui/Kuzui Entertainment, Mutant Enemy Productions, WB, UPN, FOX etc. etc.<br/>Lyrics courtesy of <a href="http://www.rockapella.com">Rockapella.com</a>. All rights to the lyrics, arrangement and music, property of Rockapella and Sean Altman. No copyright infringement intended. For entertainment purposes only.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Spike's Presents

**  
_Presents*_   
**

Like this song already. Can't really get a much better title than that.

  


 **  
_My... present, my my presents._   
**

See - 'my presents' gotta love this!

  


 **  
_Fork it up, give it over, deliver the goods now, presents._   
**

Bloody hell! A singer after m'own heart! By the way - these blokes can belt a tune!

  


 **  
_Feed my desire for cool possessions_   
**

Oh yeah, mate. Feed... desire... cool... possessions...

  


 **  
_Wrap it up make a mega-donation in my direction._   
**

Yessss! All for the gimme! More more more!

  


 **  
_Oh you gotta get in the spirit of the occasion, mama_   
**

Yes yes - especially if it means that I get more presents!

  


 **  
_And if it isn't one, make one up, yeah_   
**

This song just gets better and better as I listen to it! Who are these guys and can I get them to do this every year?

  


 **  
_Just as long as I got something to flaunt_   
**

I'm gonna need a cigarette after this song! Sod those buggers from last time - I want these blokes to sing the carols every year...

  


 **  
_And I'm gettin' what I want... hey!_   
**

*mumbles something incoherently*

  


 **  
_I'm not needy; I'm just greedy,_   
**

*points* Yep, that's me. Greedy!

  


 **  
_And if my vision of the world is skewed maybe my eyes are too  
beady. _   
**

Err... well, m'eyes aren't beady, but who bloody cares? This song is great!

  


 **  
_I won't leave it if I can't take it_   
**

These guys are readin' m'mind here. I want Christmas at their place.

  


 **  
_And it I can't keep it all to myself I'd rather break it._   
**

Ooooh -- break stuff -- I like that. Hold on, time out here - I just wanna say that this is the best Christmas song ever - and that these Rocka-blokes, whatever they're called, are gods with the carols or songs or whatever. If all of their Holiday music is like this - I am *so* in! Back to the song...

  


 **  
_Oh, and if your brain is strained and you can't be creative, Daddy, Open your wallet I'll take the cash, yeah;_   
**

Hello --- cash? Merry bushels of cash? I love this! Yes. If you are out of ideas for Spike presents - money!

  


 **  
_Quality or quantity Long as I'm gettin' the whole hog._   
**

Yes! All for me! I'm a greedy bastard! Deal! I want... I want... I want! Gimme!

  


 **  
_I know, you'll padlock it; or even hock it;_   
**

Pfft - that's just evil. No one should ever padlock or hock the gifts. Well, 'cept me.

  


 **  
_You got the littlest dinosaur arm and the damnedest deepest  
pockets! _   
**

So, grow that arm and reach down and dig out prezzies for Spike! Because the world owes Spike a present or several. All the sodding - hold on - getting off track on a rant here. Need to stop that. More song!

  


 **  
_So who's more twisted or more blacklisted?_   
**

Eh, I'm twisted and blacklisted - so, gimme presents - that way I don't have to do bad things...

  


 **  
_You got me, the menace of greed and you, the lord of all tightfisted._   
**

Ah - no wonder we're having a gift-giving issue - tightfist is wielding the ironfist over the 'menace of greed' (that would be me, by the way) - loosen up, get me stuff!

  


 **  
_But if you bend with the breeze and cut loose the bounty baby, Well maybe then I won't eat you up_   
**

Eh - I might eat you up anyway, but I'll be happier if you give first...

  


 **  
_Box the spoils with a bow and a bonnet and believe it or not,  
believe it or not... _   
**

Oooh - this sounds promising...

  


 **  
_I won't even thank you! Presents!_   
**

*bursts into maniacal laughter as the song fades out*

  


Have I mentioned how much I *love* this song? This is the best Christmas song ever! Nominate this for an award or something!

END

* * *

  


*Song credits:  
Lyrics: Sean Altman  
Arrangement: Sean Altman  
Lead vocal: Sean Altman

  


Lyrics courtesy of [Rockapella.com](http://www.rockapella.com). All rights to the lyrics, arrangement and music, property of Rockapella and Sean Altman. No copyright infringement intended. For entertainment purposes only.


End file.
